TERRIBLE!: George Bush is RUINING my sex life!

Yes you heard that right! George Bush & the jacked up economic situation he has left us in is ruining my sex life! SO my “blind” date aka a random I met on the internet because (A) I work in a bar on the weekends (B) I can’t afford to go out & meet Men & really meeting Men in LA at the bars & clubs is just ASKING for trouble. 

There was a billboard on La Brea 2 blocks from my house that said & I quote “HERPES… 1 in 4” EVERY TIME I’d be in a social circle with 3 other people I’m like… OOH! Somebody here has a social disease & it’s NOT me! You know those circles I’m talking about, especially if you’re out with one of your girlfriends & the both of you are talking to two guys & you know she’s clean, it’s like Russian Roulette which one of us is taking the disease ridden bastard home… ahhhhhhhh, no thank you.

Anywho… he sends me a text message after I shaved my legs, after I washed my AFRO, after I missed my spin class & AFTER I made a pedicure appointment “is it alrite if we go Dutch? Saving money for NYC”. NOW I am not a gold digger & I understand that money is tight for everyone, this is not why I’m getting my panties in a wad. 

This Man I have never met asks me out but wants me to drive all the way out to Venice where he lives, grab drinks at a place that he picked & said “first 4 Margaritas on me”, mind you & I now I have to pay “Dutch”?!?! Where in the hell did that term “going Dutch” come from anyway? I’ve never met a European Man that made a Woman pay… ok now I’m getting off subject, SO perturbed!

Maybe I’m just annoyed he replied “alrite” instead of alright… he’s 35! I replied to him “Normally I don’t mind paying Dutch but unfortunately I can’t afford it right now, want to grab coffee when you come back from NYC?” Do you think he answered? Hells NO! 

If you are a Man & reading this TRUST ME we get it… we understand, but the game has changed! Women were raised if a Man asks he takes care of it, hell I’m friends with & related to a plethora of you & you all say “if a Man asks, he takes care of it”, allow me to enlighten you, this does not at all mean financially. 
Be a Man & be more creative, just take care of it. He lives in Venice we could have walked on the Beach & just talked, I get thirsty I buy my own damn bottle of water or find a water fountain period the end. How dare he? Doesn’t he know today is the 31st?!?!? Rent is due tomorrow, this has to be an April’s Fools joke.

I know the truth was all in the text… and as much as I LOATHE text messages, the truth really was in the text. First off a Gentleman would have called. Secondly he said “4 {flipping} Margaritas”… Homeboy wanted me to have some of that liquid courage to get me all loosy goosy & when I offered for coffee he would have accepted. 

I know what you’re thinking that I should have texted him back, well I DID an hour after I had not heard from him. I asked “so is coffee cool?” he replied “yeah” I said “cool, enjoy NYC” instead of replying hey let’s just do coffee now he replied “Thx”. 
Oh well… just wanted to vent & yet again blame George Bush for something ELSE! Luckily I have a full bar at my place so I’m already 2 Margaritas into the 4 I was expecting as I write this, maybe I’ll make drunken Langostino Quesadillas for dinner… ODELAY!

Life hands you lemons? Squirt it in your refreshing Margarita!

My FAVORITE tequila & what I’ve made my Margaritas with, I how wonderfully phallic it is!

Filed in: BYTE ME, Dating, Dutch Boy, Economy, Funny, TERRIBLE, Tickled Pink • Tuesday, March 31st, 2009
 

Leave a Comment

CommentLuv badge

A Byte A Day

Want your daily dose of SingleServingBytes? - sign up below

Enter your email address:

Delivered by FeedBurner

March 2009
S M T W T F S
    Apr »
1234567
891011121314
15161718192021
22232425262728
293031  

Just A Few Clients & Guests I Have Singly Served

♥ Barbra Streisand ♥ Donna Karan ♥ Giada DeLaurentiis ♥ James Brolin ♥ Lorraine Bracco ♥ Penny Marshall ♥ Mel B ♥ Kim Kardashian ♥ Garcelle Beauvais ♥ Ariana Grande ♥ Aarti Sequeira ♥ Neal McDonough ♥ Joe Torre ♥ Sasha Alexander ♥ Meatloaf ♥ Selena Gomez ♥ Lisa Erspamer ♥ Diane Warren ♥ Giuliana Rancic ♥ Bill Rancic ♥ Ken Paves ♥ Audrina Patridge ♥ Alison Sweeney ♥ Ali Landry ♥ Katie Fisher ♥ Chris Pine ♥ Nathan Fillion ♥ Jillian Barberie Reynolds ♥ Robin Givens ♥ Tracy Edmonds ♥ Robin Antin ♥ Tracey Gold ♥ Cheryl Burke ♥ Sheryl Underwood ♥ Hank Baskett ♥ Kendra Wilkinson-Baskett ♥ Denise Richards ♥ Jenna Fisher ♥ Josh Hopkins ♥ Kyle Richards ♥ Garnier ♥ The Silver Spoon ♥ Aids Research Alliance ♥ Supper Club Los Angeles ♥ Kissing The Sky Management ♥ Forty 55 Lofts ♥ 50hz Films ♥

SAVE Haiti ♥

Stand With Haiti

Coming Soon…

Photobucket

Sh*t Married Chicks Say… to SIngle Girls

7 SINgle Servings

Manouschka Guerrier Reel

Behind the Scenes of Amour Creole Cover Shoot

A Night of Decadence with Joël Robuchon

Video of the Week


About

PhotobucketThis blog is to chronicle my adventures, the people I'll meet, the drinks I'll imbibe, the joy, the frustration, the bargains I'll find, the crap I wish I can afford & all the FAB-U-LE$$ meals I'll have in between as I try everything in my power to sell my own Cooking/Lifestyle show every single day 1 Single Serving at a time ♥